Dating rules for a successful relationship

I’ve heard so many different rules about dating someone older, and they all boil down to a magic number: “Don’t date anyone more than ten years older,” or “Marriages never work if there’s more than fifteen years’ difference.” People love rules, telling themselves that abiding by them will cause them to get hurt less. The most important rule to follow is a general one: Make sure the two of you have the same goals for the relationship and for your daily life together. Think about whether you want to get married; have a big or tiny wedding; have children; be with someone who already has kids; live in the future in the same town or city where you’ve been dating; move somewhere far or close; have extended family very involved or not very involved in your life; have a relationship where you socialize almost always together or often; have a partner who’s more of a social butterfly or homebody; and have a partner who is very involved or not very involved in extracurricular activities. Psychological Age You’ve probably heard someone say, “He seems young for his age,” or “She’s so young at heart.” Though we all have a chronological age, we also have what I refer to as a ‘psychological age.’ How old do you feel, for example? In addition, ask yourself what the psychological age is of your prospective older partner. Again, use those early months of a relationship to gauge whether your sexualities are congruent enough.

Don’t embrace any rigid rule about age differences. Don’t be fooled into thinking that just because someone is older, he or she isn’t very sexual.

(It will never be exactly the same for two different people.) Assess Your Proclivity for Indulgences While many behaviors in the extreme form represent a problem or even an addiction, some of those same behaviors can be harmless if not taken to the extreme.

Consider a list of activities that fall on the hedonistic end of the behavioral spectrum: drinking alcohol, gambling, shopping, traveling, and spending, for example.

"However, as people, we're also inclined to be sexually jealous of a partner being with someone else, and from a biological standpoint, we're resistant to that partner having another relationship." "Usually, you see open relationships in one of two situations," says relationship expert and nationally syndicated Radio Chick Leslie Gold.

"There are the kind people engage in because their partner is a rock star or a politician and they're getting something else out of the situation, like status.

"Having an open relationship can work really well for some people," he says. Rather than asking him or her such questions directly, lay low and gather your information over time. If you answer these questions honestly, you’ll have gobs of good information as you try to determine whether a long-term relationship with the older individual could work well.Call them cheaters, swingers, or "whatever couples"—the bottom line is these couples buck monogamy for a more open approach to their relationship.Sex with another person is allowed, but it's not flaunted or discussed outside the household. THE SCIENCE OF MONOGAMY "There are a wide variety of open-relationship models out there, and they can vary drastically from one couple to another," says David Barash, Ph.